Anecdote of an Apple (Store)

There's an old man. His messy gray hair tells me that he's beyond caring what he looks like at 10:45am on a Sunday morning, standing here, outside the Apple Store in the mall. If not his hair, then its his once blue corduroys: worn and faded. His wallet nested in the outlay of his back left pocket.

He is holding a brown spiral notebook. The type you would picture a young cocky literature professor to have. Its a bit beat-up, and reeks of character. I imagine he's been here for a while, even though the store still has 15 minutes until it opens. He always arrives early. I can't help but wonder what its like to be able to arrive early to everything if you want to...or late to everything. At his age, nothing else better to do than arrive early I guess. What would he have to do at the Apple Store?

Look out: Mall Walkers. There are several types, as I'll come to find out. This first group is of the radical sort. They carry themselves very proud and pompous. They walk with determination...and fast. Groups of two, they are usually women. They talk. They manage to have these conversations while walking around the mall. As they pass, I can only get a few grasps of their conversation, which is characterized with short, quick sentences to accommodate their breathing needs.

There is a gate, like a garage door, covering the entrance to the Apple Store. Right next to the gate are mother and daughter. North Shore Nancy and Mckenzie (that's what I'll call them, sounds posh and they're probably from Mequon). Mckenzie is wearing a red-hooded Wisconsin sweatshirt, red shorts (28 degrees outside), red sandals (again with the temperature) and a toe-ring on what would be the equivalent of the pointer finger of her right foot. She just woke up, and can't wait to get her Nano. North Shore Nancy didn't want to be here, but I'm sure buying Mckenzie a Nano was some reward. Or perhaps she was sick of hearing Mckenzie say how everyone else has one, "I just gotta have it."

What pisses me off is that Mckenzie is going to pollute her iPOD with shitty teenie-bop music.

More mall walkers: old men. Unlike the old man waiting to get into the store, these men clearly have little say over their Sunday morning post-church activities. But they sure do have those towel-like sweat outfits on. You know the furry outfits that grandpa's wear. Horizontal stripe across the chest.

There's a black man waiting to get in. Hands free, he's talking on his cell phone which is conveniently attached to his ear. Blue-tooth I assume. Next time you talk on the phone, think about what you would do with your hands if both were free. Are we really at the point in our existence where we must have two hands free while on the phone? He's doing business of sorts with the person on the other end.

The final mall walker of my stay: the couple with child. Easiest way to describe them is to picture the guy wearing a t-shirt saying: I'm here with her.

More people start to accumulate outside the store. Then, an iMAC. An iMAC strapped inside of a suitcase on wheels was being dragged in by a hurried woman. She marched right up to the gate and looked through the gate into the store. It almost appeared as though she was surprised that the gate didn't open when she approached it. Like she's at the local Pick N Save grocery store, where the doors open for you. And its as though none of us would have already tried. Clearly, she didn't want to be seen lugging in her Tangerine iMAC (circa 1999) in luggage.

The gate eventually lifted, and the staff was staged like actors in a play. Luggage lady made her way to the Genius Bar where she was determined to be the first to have her computer looked at. She literally had to bend down, refusing to let the gate rise all the way to enter standing up.

Mckenzie headed for the Nanos.

I walked into the store next to the old man. I realized now that he had a Marquette sweatshirt on. I remember my grandpa used to wear a sweatshirt similar to that.

As the iMAC-luggage lady started proclaiming her problems, the man at the Genius bar called my name. I had gone online and scheduled the first appointment of the day. She would have to wait. With her luggage. Filled with an iMAC.



Listening: The Album Leaf
Reading: Botany of Desire-A Plant's-Eye View of the World by Michael Pollan